January 28, 2008

The Ronulan Menace

Ah, Ron Paul. One of my favorite topics: every time I’ve seen someone dare to mention Ron Paul, his supporters descend in droves to attack anyone who says anything possibly or remotely negative about him. Like any good sideshow, the furor surrounding his campaign is entertaining like nothing else, and the passion his libertarian-in-republican’s-clothing fans show for him is impressive to say the least. For that – and likely for nothing else – you have to respect him. He certainly does seem like a breath of fresh air in American politics, as his proponents like to say – a breath of fresh air blown straight out of a cow’s behind.

Let’s get one thing out of the way that the Ronulans will hate, but it’s important to know out of the gate:

Ron Paul will not win a single state. Ron Paul will not win the Republican primary. Ron Paul will not win an inevitable write-in campaign. Ron Paul will not be President of the United States, not now, not in 2008, and not ever.

There. We said it.

Paul is financed by xenophobes and white supremacists, and that’s enough to send up warning flags. Paul managed to do one notable thing: break campaign finance records by raising the most money of any candidate in the race in a single day – congrats to him, but in reality it shows how many misinformed and maladjusted Americans are out there scrabbling for those “good old days” that were only good if you were white Christian male.

Paul’s supporters are the same type that always seem to rise from the bile of the internet – young white men in their mother’s basements who have lived a life of privilege, don’t know anything about the world outside their windows and computer screens, believe everything the people in forums they carefully choose tell them as truth, are willing to fight to keep their privilege from a perceived social threat (Oh no! Negroes! Mexicans! Oh my!), who think that they’ve somehow worked hard to achieve the life they live and everyone else either a: be damned or b: do it themselves; when in reality it’s all been handed to them on a silver platter and they wouldn’t know real struggle if it bit them in the ass.

It’s the “starting the game on third base but convincing yourself you’ve hit a triple” mindset I’ve heard described elsewhere.

I think it’s time for another interesting crank from one of my favorite progressive bloggers, Uppityliberal, where she examines Paul and his supporters in much the same entertaining but wary light as I do, complete with her links:

I’ve been following the insane cult that is the Ron Paul machine with a mixture of horror and train-wreck fascination. His supporters have ranged from white supremacists to potheads to quasi-Libertarians who ignore his stances on abortion and gay rights (because freedom only counts for straight white males, y’know.) And all of them, to a person, have been batshit crazy enough to ignore the guy’s history of racism, conspiracy theories and, perhaps most interesting, his dismal showing in every single poll (another conspiracy, apparently.)

However, I think they’re going to have a hard time with this bit.

The funniest comment I saw on this: That’s very Libertarian. “No scientist’s going to dictate to ME the laws of the universe. I’ll find them out for myself!”

Heh. Yep.

If they’re deluded enough to believe that their guy has any chance whatsoever of winning then I’m not surprised they’d question scientific fact, too. I can just see them, now: “But how do you KNOW reality is real? I mean, are you a Nazi or something, trying to make people believe in this reality thing? Ron Paul is for FREEDOM, MAN. The freedom to completely ignore reality even when it’s staring you in the face.”

Honestly, the Paulites are living proof that pot will pickle your brain.

Huckabee is nuts, but he’s garden-variety, old-fashioned, steeped-in-religion nuts. He comes by his detachment from reality honestly. Paul, though, is his own unique flavor of nuttitude, and his supporters even more so. He has just enough of the “yeah, that sounds about right” to much of his platform that he suckers people in, and then apparently hands out lobotomies in return for every donation, so they don’t actually get beyond the surface to see what a crackpot the guy really is.

Hint, folks: There’s more to a candidate than being in favor of legalizing pot and ending the war. And all the scrambling (He didn’t really say that racist stuff! It was just printed in a newsletter he had full editorial control over!) and rationalization won’t gloss over the fact that this guy is seriously, completely batshit. I’m sure even the craziest of the crazy occasionally have a good idea or two. Mussolini made the trains run on time. But that doesn’t make up for the bulk of their crazy.

I’m not afraid of the guy, nor his supporters–he has no chance whatsoever and therefore who really terrifies me is someone like Romney or Giuliani–but the fact that they’re spamming the daylights out of every online political discussion these days is getting really annoying. Gods help us if the guy breaks off and runs as a third-party candidate (which I suspect he will; I think he’s been using the GOP machine as free publicity for his eventual Perot run.) because the bleating will get downright out of hand.

ETA: OK, one more funny comment:
Here come the RonDroids, all shouting “He’s fer the Kawn-sti-two-shun!”. Seriously, if Doktor Paul had his way you would be able to buy an African slave down at WalMart, with gold bullion no less.

Heh. Though I suppose that’s what many of the e-Paulettes would like.

Yet again, she says it better than I possibly could, but hits all the points that make the sides of my mouth curl up in delight. That’s Paul in a nutshell: he’s on the fringe, not the mainstream, and that’s why no one’s voting for him. He’s a radical, an extremist, not a “future for America.” The only “freedom” he believes in is “freedom” for the people who look like him and believe what he does. The only “constitution” he’s willing to uphold is the one that favors his favorite people. Let’s be absolutely clear.

Frankly, it’s going to be the best thing in a while to watch Paul crash and burn in the court of public opinion while his fans rant and rave about a “conspiracy” and the “mainstream media sabotaging his campaign” and how he’s being “ignored” and how his eventual loss will be everyone’s fault but Paul and his supporters’. But in the end, let’s hope the Paul campaign is less a harbinger of future radicals running for President and more another nail in the coffin of Libertarianism.


  1. […] businesses and corporations than they do about the rights of their neighbors and communities (aka, Paul supporters – which I suppose he may be trying to curry favor with now that he’s clinched the nomination […]

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  2. […] That’s the entertaining thing about the GOP – they lie and they lie, and when they’re finally called out on their lies, they backtrack and claim that they’re just the little guy being pushed around by a Democratic majority, thus rousing the hackles of their fringe Tea Party compatriots and their Ronulan allies (did you hear that their straw poll at the CPAC for the next person they should champion for the White House is Ron Paul? That’s hilarious – and I’ve explained why on at least one occasion.) […]

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  3. […] Scheer was trying in vain to defend in some regard, which I wrote about at length in my column The Ronulan Menace back when he was running for […]

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